I’m taking a slight departure from my “3 things I’ve learned” approach to my blog post this month.
A few weeks back, a friend of mine sent me an email about the crazy day she had and how everything on that particular day just blew up. Another friend shared the temper tantrum that both she and her kid had one day. Another friend shared how lonely she is, isolated, living alone, working from home. Another friend shared that he has shut down his business right now, hopefully temporarily, but maybe not.
And I’m no statistic expert, but I’m guessing this is a pretty significant representation of what many, many, many people are feeling right about now.
And this is a hard time. No doubt about that. Many of the societal rules we’ve been strictly adhering to are not necessarily that important right now. So I thought I’d put pen to paper on what’s okay right now (and perhaps some new “okays” that I will take with me post-crisis):
It’s okay to stay in your pajamas…all day. Next day…repeat.
And yes, it’s okay to have a “nice shirt” on and your pajama bottoms on for that all-important zoom meeting and then to go back to your pajama top after said meeting.
It’s okay if your house is a mess – no one is coming over anyway.
It’s okay if it feels like groundhog day.
It’s okay if your kid has more “TV time” than normal. Those important rules you’ve had in place to ensure your kid is not a TB zombie can be bent a bit more right now.
It’s okay to feel pissed-off, anxious, sad, worried, numb, annoyed, judgmental, confused, overwhelmed.
It’s also okay to feel empathy, compassion and care.
It’s also okay to feel happiness and joy. All of the emotions may all happen in the same day, maybe even in the same hour – all okay.
It’s okay if you forget to shower and hair starts to grow in strange places. Who cares? You are beautiful just the way you are. (thank you, Bruno).
It’s okay to have a quaran-tini or an isolation-ale at 4pm. Aim for just the one, as I do worry about an increased consumption.
It’s okay if your gray roots are showing. Maybe it is a good time to actually go all-the-way-gray? Just saying.
It’s okay if you don’t exercise every single day like you were before. It’s okay to slow down a bit or to get creative on your new workout regimen – like squats while I am at my stand-up desk or side lunges when I am reaching for the mixing bowls.
It’s okay if you are not doing “that-which-shall-not-be-named” perfectly. Is there really any such thing as “perfect” anyway? Nope. Let that shit go.
It’s okay if your kids running screaming through your zoom meeting or come to ask for a snack. They really do not care about your important meeting or that you are running said meeting or that you are trying to lead a high-performing team from home.
It’s okay if it feels like groundhog day.
It’s okay if you feel isolation is hard. It is. I mean, it might be a tiny bit easier for the Introverts but know that the Extroverts are really struggling.
It’s okay to take up painting, puzzling, crosswords, scrapbooking, guitaring, pianoing, harping, colouring, knitting, refurnishing, latte decorating, picture taking, taking-that-motor-apart-and-try-to-put-back-together or any other creative activity that you have been waiting to dive into.
It’s okay if you have days where you laugh hysterically. Either at the absurdity of this situation or because you find something that just makes you laugh. Laughing feels good.
It’s okay if dinner is toast.
It’s okay if your day goes off the rails and today is just about snuggling on the couch, with a cup of tea, watching soaps (are these even still on?) or reading to your kid or binge-watching Harry Potter or re-watching Downton Abby or rubbing your dog’s belly.
It’s okay to look at your vision board and dream of your desired future. It’s also okay to modify said vision board. And it’s okay if you throw the damn thing away. And start fresh with new dreams. Just be sure to keep dreaming.
It’s okay to accept money from the government. I know this is hard for many of us. Most people I know have paid into this for their entire working life. It’s okay if you take a little back right now.
It’s okay to cry. This is an emotional, super-weird, wildly uncertain time and emotions that build up need to be released. For some of us, that is in the form of tears. Sometimes big ugly cry, snotty tears. It’s totally okay.
It’s okay to simplify your life.
It’s okay to focus only on what is the most important right now. This might be basic needs. Or family. Or personal wellness. Or helping others. Or just getting through today.
It’s okay if it feels like groundhog day.
It’s okay to not know what day of the week it is. And a tip on how to remember is to try theming your dinners…like this:
-
- Mash Monday (just mash anything you want together)
- Twizzler Tuesday
- Weiner Wednesday
- Throw-back Thursday (where you make something your mama lovingly cooked for you, like mushy peas and overcooked liver)
- French Fries Friday
- Sundae Saturday
- Sinful Sunday (I know this doesn’t sound right for a Sunday, but what this actually means is chocolate at every meal)
It’s okay if you are re-setting your life. If you are looking at the things that matter the absolute most and making them a priority. If you are looking at our planet and are ready to act differently, perhaps radically, to heal it. If you are looking at showing up in a new, sustainable, present, kind, compassionate, simpler way.
And it’s okay to have a dance party. No one is watching you. And yes, you can dance, yes YOU! Just shake your booty, wave your arms around. See…you’re dancing.
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. ~ Henry David Thoreau
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